Cats and Dogs

I talk to my cat. I talk to my cat like he was my son. If you find shock and issues with those statements then obviously you lack the awesomeness of being a cat owner. Even the word "cat owner" is largely erroneous for my cat relies on me for its existence more so expects his own way and parental-paid treasures as a bratty child might on Christmas Day.
You can i say I spoil him you can say he's just a cat you can feed him whatever you want to your the master. Now this is true he gets to choose his spot on my lap for forty-five claw-filled minutes and I treat him with leftover Police Station pizza cheese. The thing is and again the analogy adheres, have you ever seen a kid in a store who doesn't get the toy he wants, that toy that no one else has that compels one to swear off any bad deeds for life and eat his broccoli? Well now imagine that prepubescent whirlwind of rage has sharp teeth, claws and a penchant for a nagging, droning meow. That's a cat who gets what it wants. So I talk to him tell it's gonna be okay and pet him, hug him and love him.
Now why would that type of action necessitate or deserve my love and Dolittle impressions surely that would blow the Gimme Gimme sugar imp analogy out of the water. Well that parent still loves that kid at the end of the day thru all that but why would I talk to an animal that coughs up hairballs but can't play catch how can you say "awesomeness" well he has night vision. How cool is that?
Yeah talking to cats is cool no big deal. I'm not an old lady with 63 cats in her living room and I don't dress my dog like Elvis and pull him around in a toy car. That's off behavior. Wilson the King of Prussia is also not just any cat (they all have night vision by the way) he's like a part of the family that doesn't contribute and thinks he has the run of the house. So instead of the smart-mouthed GameBoy junkfood junkie he's more like the college dropout who lives in his parent's basement walking on ground Doritos. Talking to cats doesn't sound too bad now does it?